{"id":5877,"date":"2019-10-05T22:06:27","date_gmt":"2019-10-05T22:06:27","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/on-line-interactivity.com\/blog\/2019\/10\/05\/infidelity-how-my-marriage-made-me-do-it-is\/"},"modified":"2019-10-05T22:06:27","modified_gmt":"2019-10-05T22:06:27","slug":"infidelity-how-my-marriage-made-me-do-it-is","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/on-line-interactivity.com\/blog\/infidelity-how-my-marriage-made-me-do-it-is\/","title":{"rendered":"Infidelity  How My Marriage Made Me Do It Is"},"content":{"rendered":"<div style=\"margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px;\" class=\"sharethis-inline-share-buttons\" ><\/div><p><body>&#13;<\/p>\n<div align=\"center\">&#13;<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/on-line-interactivity.com\">&#13;<br \/>\n  <img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" border=\"0\" src=\"https:\/\/on-line-interactivity.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/12\/abbtop.jpg\" width=\"800\" height=\"120\"\/><\/a><br \/><a 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class=\"style7\">&#13;<br \/>\n                <font color=\"#FB7014\" size=\"4\" face=\"Tahoma\">Infidelity: How \u0093My Marriage Made Me Do It\u0094 is a Cop-out<\/font><\/span><\/div>\n<\/td>\n<p>&#13;<br \/>\n            <\/tr>\n<tr>\n<td align=\"left\" height=\"19\">\n<div align=\"justify\"><span class=\"style2\">by: &#13;<br \/>\n                <font size=\"3\" face=\"Times New Roman\" color=\"#FB7014\">Dr. Robert Huizenga<\/font><\/span><\/div>\n<\/td>\n<p>&#13;<br \/>\n            <\/tr>\n<tr>\n<div id=\"article\">\n<td align=\"left\" height=\"12\"><span class=\"style2\"><\/p>\n<p>Ask someone why they had, or are having an affair and you may hear <br \/>&#13;<br \/>\n    something like this: \u0093I have a lousy marriage. My marriage is dead. There <br \/>&#13;<br \/>\n    is no intimacy, no sex, and no excitement. The love is gone. We\u0092ve grown <br \/>&#13;<br \/>\n    apart. I can\u0092t stand the marriage. There was nothing happening in the <br \/>&#13;<br \/>\n    marriage and the affair just happened.\u0094<\/p>\n<p><\/p>\n<p>These statements are rationalizations and fail to \u0093get at\u0094 the underlying issues.<\/p>\n<p><\/p>\n<p>Key points:<\/p>\n<p><\/p>\n<p>1. It\u0092s as if a marriage is an animal gone bad. A marriage does not <br \/>&#13;<br \/>\n        have a life of it\u0092s own. In reality, there is no such thing as a \u0093marriage.\u0094 <br \/>&#13;<br \/>\n  One is \u0093married\u0094 as a result of making some promises and signing a <br \/>&#13;<br \/>\n        paper at one point. After the paper is signed, two people continue <br \/>&#13;<br \/>\n        communicating and acting toward one another in particular ways that they <br \/>&#13;<br \/>\n        hope will help them get what they individually want. Just as there is no <br \/>&#13;<br \/>\n\u0093marriage,\u0094 there is no such thing as a \u0093relationship.\u0094 There are, however, <br \/>&#13;<br \/>\n        ways of relating for which each person is responsible. Remember the <br \/>&#13;<br \/>\n        comedian Flip Wilson (that dates me) and his \u0093The devil made me <br \/>&#13;<br \/>\n        do it\u0094 skit?<\/p>\n<p><\/p>\n<p>2. We idealize \u0093marriage\u0094 or \u0093romantic relationships\u0094 with the <br \/>&#13;<br \/>\n        expectation we will get what we want, without much effort to boot. The <br \/>&#13;<br \/>\n        movies, popular public press and romance novels\/stories don\u0092t help much <br \/>&#13;<br \/>\n        here. A \u0093marriage\u0094 is behind the eight ball from the word go. \u0093IT\u0094 can\u0092t win.<\/p>\n<p><\/p>\n<p>3. From day one most of us don\u0092t have a clue about how to get, build, <br \/>&#13;<br \/>\n        nurture and maintain healthy and intimate ways of relating. We need <br \/>&#13;<br \/>\n\u0091love 101\u0092 and it\u0092s not there. We rely upon experimentation or bad models.<\/p>\n<p><\/p>\n<p>4. If the \u0093marriage\u0094 is dead, why in the world would one choose to <br \/>&#13;<br \/>\n        have an affair? Talk about jumping from the frying pan into the fire. <br \/>&#13;<br \/>\n        It really is stupid. You add a whole layer of deceit and shame that eventually <br \/>&#13;<br \/>\n        will result in consequences more dire than approaching your spouse and <br \/>&#13;<br \/>\n        saying, \u0093I\u0092m really unhappy. What I\u0092m doing with you obviously is not working. <br \/>&#13;<br \/>\n        I want out.\u0094 Oh well, maybe some people need more problems and suffering.<\/p>\n<p><\/p>\n<p>5. If the \u0093marriage\u0094 is bad, obviously, I don\u0092t have to look at me. <br \/>&#13;<br \/>\n        I can blame \u0093it\u0094 or the other. Some of us find it difficult to look at me. Some of us don\u0092t know how to look at me. Some of us never think of looking at me.<\/p>\n<p><\/p>\n<p>Tip: If your partner\/spouse is having and affair and blames it on the \u0093marriage,\u0094 don\u0092t buy into it. The \u0093marriage\u0094 is not the problem. You are <br \/>&#13;<br \/>\n        not the problem. Your spouse\/partner chose the affair out of ignorance, <br \/>&#13;<br \/>\n        fear or inadequacy.<\/p>\n<p><\/p>\n<p>The \u0093My Marriage Made Me Do It\u0094 is just one of 7 affairs outlined in my E-book, \u0093Break Free From the Affair.\u0094 For more information on the issues behind the other kinds of affairs and tips for dealing with them, visit my site. <\/p>\n<p>&#13;<br \/>\n####################<br \/>&#13;<br \/>\nDr. Robert Huizenga, The Infidelity Coach, has helped hundreds of couples over the past two decades heal from the agony of extramarital affairs and survive infidelity. Visit his website at: <a href=\"http:\/\/www.break-free-from-the-affair.com\/cmd.php?ad=139627\">http:\/\/www.break-free-from-the-affair.com<\/a><br \/>&#13;<br \/>\n####################<\/p>\n<p><b\/><\/p>\n<p><\/span><\/td>\n<\/div>\n<\/tr>\n<tr>\n<td class=\"article_bio\"\/>&#13;<br \/>\n            <\/tr>\n<\/table>\n<\/div>\n<p align=\"left\">\u00a0        <\/p>\n<p>&#13;\n      <\/td>\n<p>&#13;<br \/>\n    <\/tr>\n<\/table>\n<hr width=\"800\" noshade=\"noshade\"\/><a href=\"https:\/\/on-line-interactivity.com\/ADSENSEWEBSITES\">RETURN TO ADSENSE BUSINESS-IN-A-BOX MASTER ARTICLE INDEX<\/a><\/p>\n<hr width=\"800\" noshade=\"noshade\"\/>\n<div class=\"fb-share-button\" data-href=\"https:\/\/on-line-interactivity.com\/\" data-layout=\"button\" data-size=\"large\"><a target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/sharer\/sharer.php?u=https%3A%2F%2Fon-line-interactivity.com%2F&amp;src=sdkpreparse\" class=\"fb-xfbml-parse-ignore\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">Share<\/a><\/div>\n<p>&#13;<\/p>\n<div id=\"fb-root\"\/>&#13;<br \/>\n<script async=\"\" defer=\"defer\" crossorigin=\"anonymous\" src=\"https:\/\/connect.facebook.net\/en_US\/sdk.js#xfbml=1&amp;version=v4.0&amp;appId=103650273035821&amp;autoLogAppEvents=1\"\/><!-- End of FACEBOOK SHARE BUTTON CODE --><span class=\"style6\"><br \/><span class=\"style2\">\u00a92019 - All Rights Reserved by <a href=\"http:\/\/HelpMeFindFreedom.Online\">HelpMeFindFreedom.Online<\/a><br \/><a href=\"http:\/\/www.website.ws\/kvmlm2\/my.dhtml?sponsor=geekzonehostingcom&amp;bannercode=gif002&amp;language=english\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"http:\/\/images.website.ws\/images\/english\/banners\/kvmlm2\/468x60_02.gif\" border=\"0\"\/><\/a><\/span><\/span><\/div>\n<p>&#13;<br \/>\n<\/body><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>&#13; &#13; &#13; &#13; &#13; &#13; &#13; &#13; \u00a0 &#13; \u00a0&#13; &#13; &#13; &#13; Article Navigation &#13; Back To &#13; Main Page &#13; &#13; &#13; \u00a0 &#13; Click Here &#13; for more articles &#13; &#13; &#13; &#13; &#13; &#13; &#13; &#13; &#13; &#13; &#13; &#13; &#13; Infidelity: How \u0093My Marriage Made Me Do It\u0094 is [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[3],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-5877","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-adsense-business-in-a-box"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/on-line-interactivity.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5877","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/on-line-interactivity.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/on-line-interactivity.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/on-line-interactivity.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/on-line-interactivity.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=5877"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/on-line-interactivity.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5877\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/on-line-interactivity.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=5877"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/on-line-interactivity.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=5877"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/on-line-interactivity.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=5877"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}