{"id":5909,"date":"2019-10-05T22:06:27","date_gmt":"2019-10-05T22:06:27","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/on-line-interactivity.com\/blog\/2019\/10\/05\/the-sex-trap-balancing-hormones-and-the-head\/"},"modified":"2019-10-05T22:06:27","modified_gmt":"2019-10-05T22:06:27","slug":"the-sex-trap-balancing-hormones-and-the-head","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/on-line-interactivity.com\/blog\/the-sex-trap-balancing-hormones-and-the-head\/","title":{"rendered":"The Sex Trap  Balancing Hormones And The Head"},"content":{"rendered":"<div style=\"margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px;\" class=\"sharethis-inline-share-buttons\" ><\/div><p><body>&#13;<\/p>\n<div align=\"center\">&#13;<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/on-line-interactivity.com\">&#13;<br \/>\n  <img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" border=\"0\" src=\"https:\/\/on-line-interactivity.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/12\/abbtop.jpg\" width=\"800\" height=\"120\"\/><\/a><br \/><a 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class=\"style7\">&#13;<br \/>\n                <font color=\"#FB7014\" size=\"4\" face=\"Tahoma\">The Sex Trap, Balancing Hormones and the Head<\/font><\/span><\/div>\n<\/td>\n<p>&#13;<br \/>\n            <\/tr>\n<tr>\n<td align=\"left\" height=\"19\">\n<div align=\"justify\"><span class=\"style2\">by: &#13;<br \/>\n                <font size=\"3\" face=\"Times New Roman\" color=\"#FB7014\">David Steele<\/font><\/span><\/div>\n<\/td>\n<p>&#13;<br \/>\n            <\/tr>\n<tr>\n<div id=\"article\">\n<td align=\"left\" height=\"12\"><span class=\"style2\">As I had my morning coffee, the &#8220;Dear Abby&#8221; column caught my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating dilemma and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that &#8220;Women use sex to get love, and men use love to get sex.&#8221; This is a great summation of the &#8220;Sex Trap.&#8221; <\/p>\n<p>&#13;<br \/>\nThe Sex Trap is similar to the Love Trap, where singles interpret good sex as love. But those who fall into the Sex Trap go even farther, because for these singles, having sex carries immense meaning and consequences. <\/p>\n<p>&#13;<br \/>\nSingles fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of two ways:<\/p>\n<p>&#13;<br \/>\nA.\tthey believe sex is a necessary test of compatibility, (if the sex is good then the relationship will be good as well)<\/p>\n<p>&#13;<br \/>\nB.\tmore commonly, all consciousness goes out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed singles consider themselves a committed couple as soon as they have sex. <\/p>\n<p>&#13;<br \/>\nSo, rather than looking at whether this other person might be a match on levels other than physical attraction \u0097 such as long-term requirements, needs, and wants \u0097 they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers. <\/p>\n<p>&#13;<br \/>\nNo doubt, it can be challenging to keep in touch with reality when all those hormones are running wild. Our body reacts to someone we are attracted to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone (increases sexual desire), which makes the opportunity to have sex with someone we are attracted to extremely hard to resist. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce emotions), which makes us feel very close to and bonded with our sex partner. <\/p>\n<p>&#13;<br \/>\nThese chemical reactions are involuntary and strong, leading to powerful feelings of attraction, excitement, love, closeness, and well-being. <\/p>\n<p>&#13;<br \/>\nBut when problems arise, those who fall into the Sex Trap often rationalize by thinking, &#8220;Well, we&#8217;ve got problems, but the sex is great!&#8221; They most likely wouldn&#8217;t admit it, but they prioritize physical intimacy and regard the rest as optional. Their main scouting tools are sexual attraction and physical compatibility. <\/p>\n<p>&#13;<br \/>\nBarry North, an RCI coach who works primarily with gay men, says that many of his clients have fallen into the Sex Trap. <\/p>\n<p>&#13;<br \/>\n&#8220;For gay men especially in metropolitan areas, sex is readily available, and that in itself is a trap,&#8221; North says. &#8220;In addition, the culture, with its emphasis on physical appearance, encourages sexual activity. Many gay men want to find out from the beginning if a potential partner is going to be sexually compatible. Why waste your time if the sex isn&#8217;t going to be good?&#8221; <\/p>\n<p>&#13;<br \/>\nNonetheless, North adds, &#8220;I suspect this is a &#8216;guy&#8217; thing rather than a &#8216;gay&#8217; thing.&#8221; <\/p>\n<p>&#13;<br \/>\nI do want to point out that chemistry is important. Yet, chemistry is a given that we can&#8217;t control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it must be there for the partnership to work. If not there, we can&#8217;t &#8220;make&#8221; chemistry happen, though sometimes it can grow over time. <\/p>\n<p>&#13;<br \/>\nSingles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry risk relationship failure when the hormone-induced intoxication wears off and reality hits. <\/p>\n<p>&#13;<br \/>\nTo avoid the Sex Trap, you must balance your heart (and hormones) with your head. This means combining chemistry with common sense. While good sex is important for a sustainable relationship, you need to make your partner choices by paying full attention to your vision, values, goals and requirements \u0097 while feeling all those exciting sparks! <\/p>\n<p>&#13;<br \/>\nAbout The Author:<\/p>\n<p>&#13;<br \/>\nDavid Steele, MA, is the founder of the Relationship Coaching Institute and a pioneer in working with singles. He has helped thousands of singles and couples get what they want from relationships.  His new book, Conscious Dating; Finding the Love of Your Life in Today\u0092s World, readers precisely how to get what they want in their own life. To learn more, visit http:\/\/www.consciousdating.com\/   <\/p>\n<p><b>This article is free for republishing<\/b><\/p>\n<p><\/span><\/td>\n<\/div>\n<\/tr>\n<tr>\n<td class=\"article_bio\"\/>&#13;<br \/>\n            <\/tr>\n<\/table>\n<\/div>\n<p align=\"left\">\u00a0        <\/p>\n<p>&#13;\n      <\/td>\n<p>&#13;<br \/>\n    <\/tr>\n<\/table>\n<hr width=\"800\" noshade=\"noshade\"\/><a href=\"https:\/\/on-line-interactivity.com\/ADSENSEWEBSITES\">RETURN TO ADSENSE BUSINESS-IN-A-BOX MASTER ARTICLE INDEX<\/a><\/p>\n<hr width=\"800\" noshade=\"noshade\"\/>\n<div class=\"fb-share-button\" data-href=\"https:\/\/on-line-interactivity.com\/\" data-layout=\"button\" data-size=\"large\"><a target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/sharer\/sharer.php?u=https%3A%2F%2Fon-line-interactivity.com%2F&amp;src=sdkpreparse\" class=\"fb-xfbml-parse-ignore\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">Share<\/a><\/div>\n<p>&#13;<\/p>\n<div id=\"fb-root\"\/>&#13;<br \/>\n<script async=\"\" defer=\"defer\" crossorigin=\"anonymous\" src=\"https:\/\/connect.facebook.net\/en_US\/sdk.js#xfbml=1&amp;version=v4.0&amp;appId=103650273035821&amp;autoLogAppEvents=1\"\/><!-- End of FACEBOOK SHARE BUTTON CODE --><span class=\"style6\"><br \/><span class=\"style2\">\u00a92019 - All Rights Reserved by <a href=\"http:\/\/HelpMeFindFreedom.Online\">HelpMeFindFreedom.Online<\/a><br \/><a href=\"http:\/\/www.website.ws\/kvmlm2\/my.dhtml?sponsor=geekzonehostingcom&amp;bannercode=gif002&amp;language=english\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"http:\/\/images.website.ws\/images\/english\/banners\/kvmlm2\/468x60_02.gif\" border=\"0\"\/><\/a><\/span><\/span><\/div>\n<p>&#13;<br \/>\n<\/body><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>&#13; &#13; &#13; &#13; &#13; &#13; &#13; &#13; \u00a0 &#13; \u00a0&#13; &#13; &#13; &#13; Article Navigation &#13; Back To &#13; Main Page &#13; &#13; &#13; \u00a0 &#13; Click Here &#13; for more articles &#13; &#13; &#13; &#13; &#13; &#13; &#13; &#13; &#13; &#13; &#13; &#13; &#13; The Sex Trap, Balancing Hormones and the Head &#13; [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[3],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-5909","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-adsense-business-in-a-box"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/on-line-interactivity.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5909","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/on-line-interactivity.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/on-line-interactivity.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/on-line-interactivity.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/on-line-interactivity.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=5909"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/on-line-interactivity.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5909\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/on-line-interactivity.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=5909"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/on-line-interactivity.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=5909"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/on-line-interactivity.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=5909"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}