{"id":5934,"date":"2019-10-05T22:06:32","date_gmt":"2019-10-05T22:06:32","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/on-line-interactivity.com\/blog\/2019\/10\/05\/field-notes-on-country-linguistics\/"},"modified":"2019-10-05T22:06:32","modified_gmt":"2019-10-05T22:06:32","slug":"field-notes-on-country-linguistics","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/on-line-interactivity.com\/blog\/field-notes-on-country-linguistics\/","title":{"rendered":"Field Notes On Country Linguistics"},"content":{"rendered":"<div style=\"margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px;\" class=\"sharethis-inline-share-buttons\" ><\/div><p><body>&#13;<\/p>\n<div align=\"center\">&#13;<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/on-line-interactivity.com\">&#13;<br \/>\n  <img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" border=\"0\" src=\"https:\/\/on-line-interactivity.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/12\/abbtop.jpg\" width=\"800\" height=\"120\"\/><\/a><br \/><a 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class=\"style7\">&#13;<br \/>\n                <font color=\"#FB7014\" size=\"4\" face=\"Tahoma\">Field Notes on Country Linguistics<\/font><\/span><\/div>\n<\/td>\n<p>&#13;<br \/>\n            <\/tr>\n<tr>\n<td align=\"left\" height=\"19\">\n<div align=\"justify\"><span class=\"style2\">by: &#13;<br \/>\n                <font size=\"3\" face=\"Times New Roman\" color=\"#FB7014\">Nola Kelsey<\/font><\/span><\/div>\n<\/td>\n<p>&#13;<br \/>\n            <\/tr>\n<tr>\n<div id=\"article\">\n<td align=\"left\" height=\"12\"><span class=\"style2\">As Suzy stammered, my ears perked up. For distraction I called out, \u0093Hey Kathy, put on another pot of coffee.\u0094 Suzy spoke again. The fact is, gouging my own eyes out with a ketchup bottle would not have distracted me. A linguistic calamity was eminent.<\/p>\n<p>&#13;<br \/>\nThe hair on the back of my neck stood up, then it ran from the room. I knew where Suzy was headed. Her speech was like watching a car accident. It all moved in slow motion. Every instinct in me said tear the phone from her hand before it&#8217;s too late. But she had to learn to properly communicate with customers. Please Lord, I begged, don&#8217;t let her say it. Then it happened. Suzy uttered the words,  \u0093We&#8217;ll mam, I ain&#8217;t fer sures on that.\u0094<\/p>\n<p>&#13;<br \/>\nAcross America, English professors collectively wept. My mind locked. How could she have said it again? She had been with our company four months. Still, there was hope. Okay, Lord, you&#8217;re pretty funny, I sneered. Seriously, could her next words please be,  \u0093If you would not mind holding for one moment, I will find out the answer for you.\u0094 Ha! No such luck.<\/p>\n<p>&#13;<br \/>\nThe gods hate me. After an awkward silence (while the caller and I shared an embolism), Suzy proceeded to take the customer\u0092s order. Neither of them was any wiser for the experience. I stepped outside to meditate. Would I have to fire her? I was not fer sures on that?<\/p>\n<p>&#13;<br \/>\nYou hear many endearing phrases in the county. I find, \u0091a doins\u0092 quite charming. Such as there&#8217;s a doins at Bubba&#8217;s tonight. Translated this means, festivities will take place at Bubba\u0092s residence this evening.<\/p>\n<p>&#13;<br \/>\n\u0091Pert near\u0092 is fun. Linguists translate this colorful twist on grammar as meaning, \u0091almost\u0092 not nearby. As in, pert near everybody ceptin that cidiot been told bout the rodeo. Meaning, almost everyone, except the new city idiot, was informed of the upcoming rodeo event. <\/p>\n<p>&#13;<br \/>\nUnfortunately, telling a high maintenance Dressage Equestrian (they are all high-maintenance), \u0093Ya aint&#8217;s fer sures on that,\u0094 translates as, \u0093Hello, we are illiterate, so buy our product.\u0094 Following this with no offer to expand your knowledge and assist the customers says, \u0093We may be illiterate, but that&#8217;s ok. We also suck. Thank you and have a nice day.\u0094 <\/p>\n<p>&#13;<br \/>\nTourists passing through this area have improperly translated another phrase. \u0093What chya doin?\u0094 is often misinterpreted as the rhetorical \u0093What&#8217;s up?\u0094 or \u0093What&#8217;s happening?\u0094 Sadly, that is not its meaning. \u0093What chya doin?\u0094 literally translates as, \u0093What are you doing?&#8221; Confusion on this matter is based on timing.<\/p>\n<p>&#13;<br \/>\n\u0093What chya doing?\u0094 is often asked when your activity could not be more blatantly obvious. For example: You&#8217;re spreading cheese over flat dough topped with tomato sauce. Mountains of pepperoni are poised nearby. A stranger asks, \u0093What chya doin?&#8221; Heads up: They literally have not connected the dots. Do not wisecrack, \u0093Installing solar panels.&#8221; Before you know it, you&#8217;ll be explaining how green peppers affect your hot water supply.<\/p>\n<p>&#13;<br \/>\nHere in South Dakota low wages have brought in large numbers of Customer Service call centers. Airlines, finance companies, catalog sales, these types of companies coagulate around Rapid City. Lately there has been a lot of concern over competition from India. Apparently the population of India is highly educated and enunciates in a manner more understandable than that of South Dakotans. Americans, not having Hindi as the mother tongue, stand little chance. Still, there is a certain irony in residents of the Black Hills losing something to Indians. How many groups will that statement offend? I ain&#8217;t fer sures on that.<\/p>\n<p><b>This article is free for republishing<\/b><\/p>\n<p><\/span><\/td>\n<\/div>\n<\/tr>\n<tr>\n<td class=\"article_bio\">Zoologist turned satirist Nola L. Kelsey is the author of Bitch Unleashed: The Harsh Realities of Goin\u0092 Country and coauthor\/\u0093primary scribe\u0094 for the political, self-help, satire Keeping the Masses Down. She is also an established ghostwriter, as well as, a freelance copywriter for a mixed brew of animal health companies. <\/p>\n<p>&#13;<br \/>\nHer photographic works appear in the Herpetocultural Library Series by Advanced Vivarium Systems, Cheval International\u0092s marketing campaigns and have appeared in Vivarium Magazine. <\/p>\n<p>&#13;<br \/>\nCurrently, Kelsey in the process of relocating to SE Asia. Here she is continuing on as a freelance journalist and writer while working on book number four. Her newsletter, Wanderlust Ink, is tracking this escape from South Dakota normality to her life as a shoestring backpacker.  More about Kelsey\u0092s writings, midlife crisis and subscriptions to Wanderlust Ink are available on her website, http:\/\/www.nolakelsey.com <\/td>\n<p>&#13;<br \/>\n            <\/tr>\n<\/table>\n<\/div>\n<p align=\"left\">\u00a0        <\/p>\n<p>&#13;\n      <\/td>\n<p>&#13;<br \/>\n    <\/tr>\n<\/table>\n<hr width=\"800\" noshade=\"noshade\"\/><a href=\"https:\/\/on-line-interactivity.com\/ADSENSEWEBSITES\">RETURN TO ADSENSE BUSINESS-IN-A-BOX MASTER ARTICLE INDEX<\/a><\/p>\n<hr width=\"800\" noshade=\"noshade\"\/>\n<div class=\"fb-share-button\" data-href=\"https:\/\/on-line-interactivity.com\/\" data-layout=\"button\" data-size=\"large\"><a target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/sharer\/sharer.php?u=https%3A%2F%2Fon-line-interactivity.com%2F&amp;src=sdkpreparse\" class=\"fb-xfbml-parse-ignore\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">Share<\/a><\/div>\n<p>&#13;<\/p>\n<div id=\"fb-root\"\/>&#13;<br \/>\n<script async=\"\" defer=\"defer\" crossorigin=\"anonymous\" src=\"https:\/\/connect.facebook.net\/en_US\/sdk.js#xfbml=1&amp;version=v4.0&amp;appId=103650273035821&amp;autoLogAppEvents=1\"\/><!-- End of FACEBOOK SHARE BUTTON CODE --><span class=\"style6\"><br \/><span class=\"style2\">\u00a92019 - All Rights Reserved by <a href=\"http:\/\/HelpMeFindFreedom.Online\">HelpMeFindFreedom.Online<\/a><br \/><a href=\"http:\/\/www.website.ws\/kvmlm2\/my.dhtml?sponsor=geekzonehostingcom&amp;bannercode=gif002&amp;language=english\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"http:\/\/images.website.ws\/images\/english\/banners\/kvmlm2\/468x60_02.gif\" border=\"0\"\/><\/a><\/span><\/span><\/div>\n<p>&#13;<br \/>\n<\/body><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>&#13; &#13; &#13; &#13; &#13; &#13; &#13; &#13; \u00a0 &#13; \u00a0&#13; &#13; &#13; &#13; Article Navigation &#13; Back To &#13; Main Page &#13; &#13; &#13; \u00a0 &#13; Click Here &#13; for more articles &#13; &#13; &#13; &#13; &#13; &#13; &#13; &#13; &#13; &#13; &#13; &#13; &#13; Field Notes on Country Linguistics &#13; by: &#13; Nola [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[3],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-5934","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-adsense-business-in-a-box"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/on-line-interactivity.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5934","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/on-line-interactivity.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/on-line-interactivity.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/on-line-interactivity.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/on-line-interactivity.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=5934"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/on-line-interactivity.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5934\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/on-line-interactivity.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=5934"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/on-line-interactivity.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=5934"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/on-line-interactivity.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=5934"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}