{"id":6009,"date":"2019-10-05T22:06:32","date_gmt":"2019-10-05T22:06:32","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/on-line-interactivity.com\/blog\/2019\/10\/05\/ghost-mothers\/"},"modified":"2019-10-05T22:06:32","modified_gmt":"2019-10-05T22:06:32","slug":"ghost-mothers","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/on-line-interactivity.com\/blog\/ghost-mothers\/","title":{"rendered":"Ghost Mothers"},"content":{"rendered":"<div style=\"margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px;\" class=\"sharethis-inline-share-buttons\" ><\/div><p><body>&#13;<\/p>\n<div align=\"center\">&#13;<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/on-line-interactivity.com\">&#13;<br \/>\n  <img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" border=\"0\" src=\"https:\/\/on-line-interactivity.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/12\/abbtop.jpg\" width=\"800\" height=\"120\"\/><\/a><br \/><a href=\"http:\/\/www.website.ws\/kvmlm2\/my.dhtml?sponsor=geekzonehostingcom&amp;bannercode=gif002&amp;language=english\"><img decoding=\"async\" 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align=\"left\" height=\"19\">\n<div align=\"justify\"><span class=\"style2\">by: &#13;<br \/>\n                <font size=\"3\" face=\"Times New Roman\" color=\"#FB7014\">Paula Krapf<\/font><\/span><\/div>\n<\/td>\n<p>&#13;<br \/>\n            <\/tr>\n<tr>\n<div id=\"article\">\n<td align=\"left\" height=\"12\"><span class=\"style2\">So many women talk about their relationships with their mothers\u0097no matter how old they are. For some, their mother, from whom they have supposedly separated long ago, still occupies a central place in the psyche. She\u0092s too close, she\u0092s too much. She has advice, is nosy, and interferes. The daughter wants time away, she wants boundaries, and fights for her separation from her mother.<\/p>\n<p>&#13;<br \/>\nFor others, the mother still occupies the psyche, but with a wrenching kind of longing\u0097a mother that is biological and even sometimes present, but also a mother who is so self-involved as to be emotionally absent, or literally out of the picture. This kind of mother takes up space and energy as a nagging, missing piece, a ghost. Her image hovers, her memory, or perhaps a dream of how it could have been, should have been, but never is.<\/p>\n<p>&#13;<br \/>\nWhich kind of mother do you have?<\/p>\n<p>&#13;<br \/>\nMy mother was a dream. I realize now, 10 years after her death, that I was always trying to get the dream to come true\u0097to have her be warm and huggy, to have her want to know me, to visit me in my house, to know my children. To know me. It never happened. It left a yearning that I played out with men, it left a hole that I tried to fill in many ways.<\/p>\n<p>&#13;<br \/>\nWhen I was little, she left me when I was four years old, and once a year appeared in the landscape of my life\u0097I lived with her mother\u0097only to disappear too soon and in a flurry of anger at her own mother, without seeming to notice how hard it was for me.<\/p>\n<p>&#13;<br \/>\nSo many people\u0097men and women\u0097struggle with this kind of emptiness, the burn of anger in the pit of the stomach, the unanswered questions that can\u0092t be asked\u0097why are you like this? <\/p>\n<p>&#13;<br \/>\nMothers who are neglectful, selfish, and abandoning do not set out to do these things, they are a result of her own problems, her own pain, and maybe even mental illness. It is hard for us as her child to see this fully, or to forgive it.<\/p>\n<p>&#13;<br \/>\nHow to help to heal the Ghost Mother wound:<\/p>\n<p>&#13;<br \/>\n1. Learn about your mother\u0092s life\u0097how she became the way she is\u0097though talking with relatives, if she won\u0092t talk to you directly, or by sitting down and hashing through history shown in photos and family albums.<\/p>\n<p>&#13;<br \/>\n2. Find adoptive mothers who will nurture you, and friends who understand your story.<\/p>\n<p>&#13;<br \/>\n3. Learn to mother yourself\u0097though therapy, through having children of your own. They will teach you.<\/p>\n<p>&#13;<br \/>\n4. Write your story. Tell your story. Having witnesses to your story is a part of healing. Seeing compassion in the eyes of others shows you that you are worthy of it, and deserve it.<\/p>\n<p>&#13;<br \/>\n5. Learn to forgive. Work on it. Work on being yourself and having a life you like and enjoy.<\/p>\n<p>&#13;<br \/>\n6. Learn to surround yourself with who you like, people who love and like you, and beauty that makes you feel part of the web of life.<\/p>\n<p>&#13;<br \/>\nLinda Joy Myers, Ph. D., prize winning author of Becoming Whole: Writing Your Healing Story,  is a Marriage and Family therapist and teaches memoir-as-healing workshops in the San Francisco Bay Area and nationally. Linda\u0092s work has been praised by reviewers, healers, and radio and television interviewers.<br \/>&#13;<br \/>\nYou can visit her web site at: http:\/\/www.lindajoymyers.com<\/p>\n<p><b>This article is free for republishing<\/b><\/p>\n<p><\/span><\/td>\n<\/div>\n<\/tr>\n<tr>\n<td class=\"article_bio\"\/>&#13;<br \/>\n            <\/tr>\n<\/table>\n<\/div>\n<p align=\"left\">\u00a0        <\/p>\n<p>&#13;\n      <\/td>\n<p>&#13;<br \/>\n    <\/tr>\n<\/table>\n<hr width=\"800\" noshade=\"noshade\"\/><a href=\"https:\/\/on-line-interactivity.com\/ADSENSEWEBSITES\">RETURN TO ADSENSE BUSINESS-IN-A-BOX MASTER ARTICLE INDEX<\/a><\/p>\n<hr width=\"800\" noshade=\"noshade\"\/>\n<div class=\"fb-share-button\" data-href=\"https:\/\/on-line-interactivity.com\/\" data-layout=\"button\" data-size=\"large\"><a target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/sharer\/sharer.php?u=https%3A%2F%2Fon-line-interactivity.com%2F&amp;src=sdkpreparse\" class=\"fb-xfbml-parse-ignore\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">Share<\/a><\/div>\n<p>&#13;<\/p>\n<div id=\"fb-root\"\/>&#13;<br \/>\n<script async=\"\" defer=\"defer\" crossorigin=\"anonymous\" src=\"https:\/\/connect.facebook.net\/en_US\/sdk.js#xfbml=1&amp;version=v4.0&amp;appId=103650273035821&amp;autoLogAppEvents=1\"\/><!-- End of FACEBOOK SHARE BUTTON CODE --><span class=\"style6\"><br \/><span class=\"style2\">\u00a92019 - All Rights Reserved by <a href=\"http:\/\/HelpMeFindFreedom.Online\">HelpMeFindFreedom.Online<\/a><br \/><a href=\"http:\/\/www.website.ws\/kvmlm2\/my.dhtml?sponsor=geekzonehostingcom&amp;bannercode=gif002&amp;language=english\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"http:\/\/images.website.ws\/images\/english\/banners\/kvmlm2\/468x60_02.gif\" border=\"0\"\/><\/a><\/span><\/span><\/div>\n<p>&#13;<br \/>\n<\/body><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>&#13; &#13; &#13; &#13; &#13; &#13; &#13; &#13; \u00a0 &#13; \u00a0&#13; &#13; &#13; &#13; Article Navigation &#13; Back To &#13; Main Page &#13; &#13; &#13; \u00a0 &#13; Click Here &#13; for more articles &#13; &#13; &#13; &#13; &#13; &#13; &#13; &#13; &#13; &#13; &#13; &#13; &#13; Ghost Mothers &#13; by: &#13; Paula Krapf &#13; So [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[3],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-6009","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-adsense-business-in-a-box"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/on-line-interactivity.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6009","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/on-line-interactivity.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/on-line-interactivity.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/on-line-interactivity.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/on-line-interactivity.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=6009"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/on-line-interactivity.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6009\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/on-line-interactivity.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=6009"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/on-line-interactivity.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=6009"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/on-line-interactivity.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=6009"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}